Beaver Tales

Beaverifesto

2006-06-27T03:56:00.000-04:00

So I've been thinking that the time has come for me to put out my manifesto to the world. I guess it would be a beaverifesto because I'm not technically a man…but the idea of the festo bit is the same.

My Beaverifesto – by Pelt the Beaver

Sometimes the world is a hard place to live. When it gets tough, these are a few things that might help you carry on.

1. Unleash Your Inner Beaver

I know that sounds like a hard thing to do – but physically speaking, it's actually quite easy. Being that I am already a beaver, I have it easier than most….but this activity is something that I heartily recommend. It's as relaxing as Yoga – just with a lot more deep breathing.

2. Chew Gum

It takes your mind off chewing trees – and it's not nearly as addictive.

More to follow in the coming days…keep watching this spot

Chewing in the Wind

2006-06-02T16:47:00.000-04:00

It has come to my knowledge that the only one who ever reads this blog is me. That's not all bad because that way I can keep updated on what I'm doing.

But originally, this blog was meant to be for you - my fans. Where are you all? Whatever it is you guys are doing...I'm sure it's fun. I bet you're out at the beach or the movies....or dancing in thong bikinis at a barbecue somewhere exotic - like Colorado....or Texas. Yup...my fan base are a bunch of cool people, who do cool and exciting things. I am a lucky beaver to have such a hip fans, who are too busy to read my blog. My invitation to the barbecue must have got lost in the mail.

It's during quiet moments like these that I miss Quillette. At least I know it's safe for me to write that here 'cause no-one will ever read it and tell Kat. Kat gets mad when I mention Quillette. She gets especially mad if I say I miss Quillette...which I happened to mention in passing one day by mistake. "Pass the salt please, Kat.....I miss Quillette." As you might imagine....we ate that particular meal in frosty silence.

Scar-Faced Beaver

2006-05-19T08:29:00.000-04:00

I’m happy to report that my cat wounds are healing….although the doctor says I will carry these scars on my face for the rest of my life. But it’s OK because I’ve heard that some people like scars. I could use it to promote the Bed & Breakfast.

“Come to the Bed & Breakfast! Have a good night’s rest and see the Scar-Faced Beaver.”

Hard Gum

2006-05-14T10:39:00.000-04:00

Last night I fell asleep chewing gum in front of the TV. I woke up this morning with the hardened gum- stuck to my face. While I was still blinking the sleep out of my eyes, Kat (my new girlfriend) sprang into action, and with a piercing screech she scratched the wad of gum off with her claws. Of course she pulled off a patch of fur along with the gum…so now I have a bald patch along with several deep cat scratches down my face.

But it’s OK – I didn’t lose much blood. A pint at the most.

Kat says she’ll cover the scratches up with some dark brown eye-shadow and no-one will be the wiser. She’s a very knowledgeable cat.

Pelt the Beaver - A thought or two....

2006-05-09T18:11:00.000-04:00

Hello...

Today I thought I'd share my thought with you - you being the world at large. I like addressing you like you're just one....even though you're millions. How are you doing? I'm asking because I care...not just because I'm being polite....even though I am a polite beaver.

Here's my thought:

Imagine how many people are out there chewing gum right now while I'm here poking at the keyboard with my claw.

It boggles a beaver's mind.